The Flounder Announces New NFT Collection

WLMAC SWIMMING POOL — This week, reputable news source The Flounder announced the release of its new non-fungible token (NFT) series, “Phish and Chips.”

“NFTs have taken the cyber world by storm,” said a spokesperson for the newspaper, “and we felt obliged to give back to the community after years of support… So what better way to do it than with a set of unique PNGs?”

For 69,420 dollars, each NFT purchased will include a one-of-a-kind clipart of the iconic flounder mascot, a grayscale copy “printed from the most exquisite of machines—the library photocopier,” and one Ruffles All Dressed potato chip. “It’s a steal of a deal,” continued the spokesperson.

Potential buyers have been quick to raise concerns regarding the release.

“All of the images look the same,” reported one student. “Well, except for the pixel in the bottom right corner. Only that one changes colour.”

“I really wanted to get one,” lamented another, “but that price is just too high. I don’t think anyone will be able to afford a ‘Phish and Chip’ unless they scalped their Halloween candy and sold their semester one notes.”

In response to such complaints, The Flounder has since backtracked on their announcement, apologizing for “manipulating the fanbase” and promising to do better by “randomizing more pixels per image” and “allowing users to pay using Monopoly dollars.”

Swinn Devius Lerr is a senior correspondent to the Flounder. She joined the team in 2022 after being hunted for wire fraud during her tenure as a cryptocurrency startup executive. Lerr currently spends her free time reading romance novels, biking outdoors, and remaining one step ahead of the authorities.